Cash in on Your Clients' Divorce

New York really is a helluva town! Seems the posh Marmara Manhattan is offering a "Suddenly Splitsville" package for Gothamites (or others) whose spouse has sent them packing.

Transitioning into one of the hotel's "discounted," fully-furnished one- two- or three-bedroom flats must take some of the sting out of rejection. But just in case, the hotel offers those taking the package a pint of Haagan-Daz (sic) to "drown those sorrows in" and a bottle of champagne "to toast new found freedom." Presumably, throwing up is optional.

And the perks don't stop there. Here's the full list:

- Accommodations in a fully-furnished luxury apartment with sizes ranging from one to three bedrooms

- Weekly housekeeping services

- A one-year subscription to Divorce Magazine, the only magazine of its kind, read by those who need advice from attorneys and other divorce professionals

- A pint of Haagen Daz ice cream to drown those sorrows in

- A bottle of Champagne to toast new found freedom

- A complimentary pass to the 92nd Street Y to work on that new physique

- A complimentary 45-minute in-room spa session (either a massage, facial, or manicure and pedicure) once a month

- Complimentary wireless Internet to start surfing the dating sites.

- A complimentary copy of "Confessions Of An Online Dating Addict" -- a book about the trials and tribulations of a woman who dated online in New York City to learn all about dating on the Web.

- A one-hour consultation with a real estate agent to start searching for a new place to live.

Even better (or creepier, depending on how you want to look at it) is that the Suddenly Splitsville package is commissionable to travel agents. Monthly rates range from $7,250 to $14,500.

But hurry. If your marriage is on shaky ground you only have until December 31, 2009 to take advantage of this deal.

I wonder how many travel agents are going to be having conversations like this: "Hi, Mary! It's Susan, your travel agent. Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. You? Terrific. Listen, remember how you were telling me what a creep Joe's been recently . . .?"